How would you defeat a villain like the Joker?
“I will use the power of irony to defeat villains! “Oh you call yourself “The Joker”, then why can’t you tell a joke! How ironic …””
— Elon Musk, 24 November 2024 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
Subjects / Jokes
Jokes
His jokes, puns and funny remarks, exactly as he made them. · 23 entries
Aren't you worried about "meme prison"?
“At least my cellmates in meme prison will have a sense of humor 😂”
— Elon Musk, 18 September 2024 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
Who would win a fight between you and Nicolás Maduro?
“If I win, he resigns as dictator of Venezuela. If he wins, I give him a free ride to Mars.”
— Elon Musk, 31 July 2024 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
Is there water on Mars?
“People often ask me if there is water on Mars”
— Elon Musk, 31 October 2023 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
What is the biggest scam in life that we don't realize is a scam?
“Animals in animated movies can talk, but don’t eat each other or have sex. This is false.”
— Elon Musk, 28 October 2023 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
Will superintelligent AI tell us whether there's a God?
“Old joke about agnostic technologists building artificial super intelligence to find out if there’s a God. They finally finish & ask the question. AI replies: “There is now, mfs!!””
— Elon Musk, 30 March 2023 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
What do you call an infinite gear ratio?
“What do you call an infinite gear ratio? All torque, no action.”
— Elon Musk, 1 March 2023 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
Is this a reverse psychology trick?
“It’s a reverse, reverse psychology trick”
— Elon Musk, 21 November 2022 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
What changes on Twitter now that you own it?
“Comedy is now legal on Twitter”
— Elon Musk, 28 October 2022 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
How did you walk into Twitter HQ?
“Entering Twitter HQ – let that sink in!”
— Elon Musk, 26 October 2022 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
What are you dressing up as?
“Nice. I’m dressing up as a sink & knocking on random doors. Once they see me, they will have no choice but to let that sink in.”
— Elon Musk, 9 September 2022 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
What do you call a Great Dane eating a small piece of ham in a tiny village?
“What do you call a Great Dane eating a small piece of ham in a tiny village? Hamlet eating hamlet in a hamlet! (Middle part credit to GAM)”
— Elon Musk, 28 August 2022 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
What are you buying after Twitter?
“Next I’m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in”
— Elon Musk, 28 April 2022 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
What would tuition be at your new university?
“Tuition is in Dogecoin & u get a discount if u have a dog”
— Elon Musk, 31 October 2021 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
Did your son sell his Dogecoin?
“Lil X is hodling his Doge like a champ. Literally never said the word “sell” even once!”
— Elon Musk, 17 July 2021 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
What is the origin of "Doge Day Afternoon"?
“Origin of Doge Day Afternoon: The ancient Romans sacrificed a Dogecoin at the beginning of the Doge Days to appease the rage of Sirius, believing that the star was the cause of the hot, sultry weather.”
— Elon Musk, 13 March 2021 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
Where's my bitcoin, Musk?
“Excuse me, I only sell Doge!”
— Elon Musk, 18 July 2020 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
Are the short shorts limited edition?
“Yes haha, we will soon be short of short shorts”
— Elon Musk, 5 July 2020 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
What's new in Tesla merch for the short sellers?
“Short shorts coming soon to Tesla merch”
— Elon Musk, 11 August 2018 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
Isn't the Boring Company flamethrower a fire hazard?
“Each flamethrower comes with a state-of-the-art The Boring Company brand fire extinguisher. Will offer a TBC ice blaster before the dry season starts in winter.”
— Elon Musk, 9 June 2018 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
Is everything in the biography about you true?
“One other I'd like to correct from the biography: I never said I was a samurai. Said I was ninja. No, that's a joke. Didn't say that either.”
— Elon Musk, 11 August 2017 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
Do you make dad jokes?
“Apparently, there is this thing called "Dad jokes" and I make them”
— Elon Musk, 16 February 2017 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive
Got a networking joke?
“TCP packet walks into a bar & says “I’d like a beer.” Barman replies “You’d like a beer?” “Yes,” replies TCP packet,“I’d like a beer.””
— Elon Musk, 9 July 2013 · Post on X ↗ · In the archive